Money in the mail

Lucky me. Today I received this check in the mail for $1,350, from my good friends at U.S. Airlines. Apparently I can use it for round-trip tickets to any place in the country. Sweet.

Now all I have to do is figure out where in the hell U.S. Airlines is, exactly. I know it’s not U.S. Airways, since that carrier isn’t known for sending out checks willy-nilly, especially since the merger with American. Checking the Internet, the only mention I can find of U.S. Airlines is in connection with long-running scam wherein certain crooked bastards send out real-looking checks in the hope of persuading idiots to sign on to a timeshare scheme. But that can’t be it. Because I’m no idiot. And it says right there on the check that it’s no timeshare scheme.

Anyway, I’m off to deposit my check. And from there to Donnie’s Rent-to-Own Luggage to piss away a portion of my newfound travel budget. Easy come, as they say. And easy go.